Ocean’s Twelve

Not Recommended. I dreaded having to watch this film. Paying for this movie is thievery. It’s really very simple, folks. Kindergarten lesson in morality: CRIME IS NOT COOL. If you support crime as cool, then you are morally responsible for adding to the culture of crime by encouraging kids to do so. And don’t tell me it doesn’t influence kids. Hollywood will go on moralistic crusades against displaying cigarettes in movies and they spew hatred at those who do because they say it MAKES SMOKING LOOK COOL. BUT IT’S ALL RIGHT FOR THEM TO depict crime as cool and all of a sudden, it doesn’t affect kids. What absolute hypocrites. Now they believe movies affect kids, now they don’t. Surprise! I normally try to say what I like about a film, even if I don’t agree with it, but this one is so morally bankrupt, the immorality overshadows the good. It would be like trying to say what is good about a porn film. There is a point at which the bad overcomes the good and devalues anything that might have been good. Same here. In this movie, the whole lump of dough has been leavened. The only reason why I didn’t leave half way through is because I knew I couldn’t say this with authority unless I knew how it ended. And I actually gave it the benefit of the doubt, thinking, maybe, just maybe it would have a moral twist at the end like Matchstick Men. But alas, it did not. Please don’t miss this. I am NOT saying making a movie about crime is wrong, or depicting crime is wrong. I am saying depicting crime as COOL and making it pay IS WRONG. I have no respect for these actors who protest with their self-righteous Church Lady tongue wagging that the war in Iraq is criminal, and then make a movie saying crime is cool. This is moral pollution. Do they really think God is not watching? And oh yeah, it’s just one big celebrity worship orgy. Everyone acting their parts like celebrities playing cool criminals and having a ball at it. Oh, yeah, fun! Hey, aren’t they such cool criminals! At least that’s what kids are going to think. I sure as heck didn’t. I was repulsed. The antidote to this movie is The Ladykillers, where crime starts out as cool, but then it is revealed to be what it truly is: Fool. Now that is cool.

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